Hearts Wide Open

Ninja Monkey Strikes Again

2012-01-22T05:47:00.000-06:00

"Mommy, da monkey come back."
"The monkey who pulled your covers off the other day? Is that the monkey you're talking about, Cael?"
"Yes, dat monkey. Him pull my arm and then he took my bed."
"He pulled your arm?"

"Yes, he pulled my arm. And then, and then mommy, he went to the living room. Him has sharp teeth."

"So he's not a nice monkey?"

"No him not nice."

At which point Taryn chimed into the conversation.

"Were his parents there Cael Bear?"

"Yes, he live with his mommy and daddy."

"Were his mommy and daddy here?"

"No mommy, they live in the jungle."

"Cael, don't you think he was sad because he missed his mommy and daddy?"

"Yes dister, him was sad because he missed his mommy and daddy."

"So there's a mean monkey who pulled your arm and took your bed, but it's ok because he is sad because he misses his mommy and daddy."

"No mommy. Him is nice. Him is my friend."

"Mommy isn't it nice that Cael Bear has a monkey friend? He's not a mean monkey, mommy."

Thankfully I have Taryn to help direct me in conversations with Cael. Otherwise I might have gotten lost in this conversation.

Loose Tooth!

2012-01-21T05:50:00.001-06:00

Taryn has been working on her first loose tooth for a few weeks. She was really hoping it would fall out on the train ride home from Boston because it was so loose. I was glad that didn't happen because I'm sure I would have lost it. Finally after eating an apple last weekend, she lost her first tooth.

Shawn keeps telling her she looks like a jack-o-lantern. I don't think Taryn cares one bit. She was so excited that the tooth fairy came and left her a whole dollar. She's already decided to buy a donut with her dollar. What can I say, she's a girl after my own heart.

Kisses

2012-01-20T05:14:00.000-06:00

When I got home from class night, I didn't hear Cael call my name. Shawn brought him out to the kitchen to see me. Poor little guy was sleepy and rubbing his eyes. He just put his arm up to me. I carried him back to bed and tucked him in. As I turned to leave, he said "but you didn't give me a tiss (kiss)!" Tears were rolling down his cheeks. After multiple kisses and hugs, he went back to sleep.

I guess even Mr. Independent still needs his mommy sometimes.

I Don't Know

2012-01-13T03:43:00.001-06:00

I had turned on "Remember the Titans" the other day. The kids were playing and I was cleaning and wanted some background noise. I didn't notice when Taryn stopped playing, but I certainly noticed when she started asking questions.

"Why are they mean to those boys? Why don't they like them? Why mommy? Why?"

No matter what answer I gave her, she still wanted to know why some people didn't like others in the movie. I had forgotten how much she picks up on and how curious she is. I was regretting that I hadn't turned the TV to a music channel instead. I finally settled telling her that I didn't know why they didn't like each other. I told her it didn't make sense to me since we're all people. Try as I might, there is no good way to explain the hate in that movie to a five year old. To be perfectly honest, I had no intention of introducing hate into her world and I was mostly trying to answer the question without really answering the question.

Taryn got quiet and I was hoping that her mind had turned to something else. Then she said "Maybe no one told them that those boys are nice. Maybe someone just needs to tell them."

If only all the problems in the world could be solved by a child.

Monkey Business

2012-01-10T05:24:00.000-06:00

Cael came running up to me upon waking up this morning.

"Mommy! Der's a monkey in my room!"

"There's a monkey in your room?"

"Yeth. He pulls da covers off my bed!"

"I think the covers just fell off your bed."

"No! Der's a monkey!"

"Ok. There's a monkey."

"Yeth, there is a monkey in my room."

Gotta love how he says it to me like I'm not so smart. He always explains things like he is talking to someone who's rather slow. I have no idea why he settled on a monkey as the culprit but he did. Just be aware, there's a monkey in Cael's room. I'm going to call it ninja monkey since no one else sees him.

Oh So Shiny!

2012-01-09T05:42:00.000-06:00

We finally got a new stove. It was the last appliance in the kitchen that came with the house when we bought it. One of the dials didn't work correctly anymore. It still worked, but to turn the burner off you actually had to turn the dial to high. We decided that we'd get an over the stove microwave while we were at it and free up some counter space in our kitchen.

I didn't get a before shot. Shawn had already removed the vent hood and was starting on removing some of the tile before I remembered to take pictures.

Shawn had to remove two rows of tile, which he was hoping he wouldn't have to do. Tile removal made a large mess in my kitchen.

Why do projects always take so much longer than we think they'll take? Three hours after he started, Shawn got the microwave in.

Half an hour later, the stove was installed and the kitchen was one again clean and neat. It looks so shiny!

Play Time

2012-01-08T05:41:00.000-06:00

While the kids were really good at playing together and sharing, they really couldn't resist a hog pile on Shawn.

Matthew and Taryn weren't sure about joining in at first. Apparently, they're more sophisicated since they're older.

With a little urging from the Cael and Aidan, they got in the mix. I think the kids win this hog pile!

Cousins!

2012-01-07T05:27:00.000-06:00

I have to say there's nothing better in the middle of winter than an arcade and indoor bouncy house. We got all the cousins together and let them run around for several hours. The kids were so worn out by the time we were done. They certainly slept well after this.

All the kids had a good time in the bouncy house. Aidan wasn't sure about it at first, but he warmed up after a bit. He really enjoyed using the bouncy house as a punching bag. Matthew and Taryn were off to the slides as soon as they started with Cael tagging behind. Logan and Benjamin were good at leading the group and showed no fear even at the top of the houses. Somehow I didn't get a photo of Benjamin that day. Probably because I couldn't catch him. That kid was on the move that day!

The red cheeks say it all. They were running a lot that day. Time for a pizza break and then arcade time to let little tummies settle before playing again.

Light sabers and blow up swords for all the tickets earned playing games.

Of course, purple slurpees were needed for some thirsty kids!

Day After Christmas

2012-01-06T05:35:00.001-06:00

The day after Christmas was spent visiting the other cousins, Uncle Erik and Auntie Emily. Six kids had a great time running around and playing. They all play pretty well together, which always amazes me.

Benjamin was a ham every time I took his picture.

Cael and Logan were waiting somewhat patiently for presents.

The kids couldn't help but storm Auntie Emily as she opened presents. There's something about presents that really lures kids in.

I think Aidan and Matthew both liked their presents.

This was one of Taryn's favorite gifts this year. She's been sleeping with her ever since she got her.

Christmas Day

2012-01-05T05:23:00.000-06:00

This was the first year that I was woken up by very excited children. All four kids burst into our room and scared the daylights right out of me. Nothing like being jolted awake by yelling kids. Can't say that I would have it any other way.

We got the kids matching Christmas jammies and then made them wait here and take their picture before opening presents. We're mean like that.

I think Santa did well this year. All the kids were happy with their gifts and for the most part shared their new toys pretty well.

These are all the Terrano great-grandkids. Cael was sad because he wanted to sit by baby Nicholas. He's such a character.

Much better!

Christmas Eve

2012-01-04T05:20:00.001-06:00

Since we were gone to Boston for Christmas, I'm trying to play catch up now. After a quick trip to the ER on Christmas Eve for Taryn (just an ear infection), things were going pretty smoothly. All the cousins played well together and had a good time. While Shawn, Uncle Keith and Uncle Erik went to watch the Patriots game at Gillette Stadium and Grandma did some last minute Christmas shopping, Beepa and I helped the kids make a gingerbread house.

They were pretty excited about it. My mother-in-law didn't realize she had bought a gingerbread house that came put together, but that made decorating so much easier! I'll have to remember that next year.

I'm leaving on a jet...train

2012-01-03T05:14:00.000-06:00

We decided to take Amtrak to Boston this year instead of an airplane. Last year, we had some issues with the airplane and thought we'd try a different route. I'm not sure which was better. The train was enjoyable, but a much longer trip.

The train station was neat. Wooden benches and some lovely graffiti on the bathroom walls. I'd forgotten how often people liked to write that they would be in love forever. Cael got a little antsy waiting to board the train, but all in all it went well.

Monster faces. What else is there to do in the train station?

The kids did really well on the trip. The portable DVD player was a wonderful idea. Whoever invented that gets a high five from me. The kids were quiet and well behaved for the whole trip.

It may not have been the most comfortable sleeping conditions, but at least the seats were more spacious than on a plane. I would definitely travel by train again, but next time I want a sleeper car.

Here We Come a Caroling!

2011-12-25T04:15:00.003-06:00

This is Taryn's favorite Christmas song. I have no idea where she learned the words. It maybe my Glee Christmas CD, but I don't think we've listened to it that much.

This is how Cael sings Jingle Bells every single time he sings it. He's quite the ham. Usually he just sings it on repeat until someone tells him that's enough. Can't say he's lacking in holiday spirit!

Merry Christmas!

We wish you peace and joy this holiday season.

Christmas with Family

2011-12-21T04:16:00.000-06:00

We spent Saturday with my family celebrating Christmas. Of course, Christmas at grandma's house wouldn't be complete with decorating Christmas cookies.

I think Cael was more interested in eating them than decorating them, but he was a good sport.

The big eyes say it all. She couldn't be more excited about the gift.

He always has to concentrate so hard.

Cael liked the presents, but he liked ripping off the wrapping paper just as much.

This is what happens when you try to take a picture before unwrapping gifts. Too excited to sit still.

Here Comes Santa Claus

2011-12-20T04:30:00.002-06:00

They could hardly wait in line they were so excited. I guess that's where the cheesy grins come into play.

Cael was in awe of Santa, or Santa Claus as Cael prefers he be called. He just sat and watched him with a look of pure wonder on his face.

Nothing says Christmas like pictures with Santa!

Shiner!

2011-12-19T05:40:00.000-06:00

While Cael has had at least 2 black eyes (that I can remember), Taryn had missed out on that pleasure. At least she did until Friday when another kid on the playground ran her over. Apparently Taryn was standing in the way when the other little girl wasn't looking and ran into her.

It's not too bad and it is fading pretty quickly and the swelling has gone down quite a bit. I'm happy about that since I got a lot of looks when we went grocery shopping on Sunday.

Temper Temper

2011-12-09T05:05:00.000-06:00

Cael has entered the terrible three phase. We're talking whiny and crying at the drop of a hat. Taryn's temper tantrums involved some of that, but mostly I remember vividly the screaming that girl did. In fact, just remembering it gives me chills and makes me a bit anxious. It only happened a few times and she out grew it. Luckily, it only happened at home. I'm eternally grateful to her for not making me carry a kicking and screaming child out of a public place.

The whining has been going for awhile with Cael. I've lost track of how many times I've told him that whining will not get him what he wants. In our house, if you whine or cry for something you don't get it. Apparently, this problem is going on at school as well with several children so I'm guessing it's the age.

Lately, Cael has started stomping and crossing his arms. He's even gone so far as to yell "Dat's not fair."

It looks something like this, only less cute.

I don't know how long this phase will last, but I'd be happy to see it go quickly. Especially the part where he yells "No Mommy" when I told him to put his toys away for dinner. He was less than happy when I confiscated his toys for that attitude. He's always so sorry when he's done with time out. Those big brown eyes full of tears are almost my undoing sometimes. Hopefully he learns quickly.

How Quickly They Learn

2011-12-05T05:54:00.000-06:00

"Daddy, I need to takt (talk) to you."

"Okay Cael."

"Daddy, you hurt my feewings (feelings)."

"Buddy! How did I do that?"

"You wouldn't let me have any tandy (candy)."

I was really feeling bad for him at first and then realized he was just working us for some candy. Silly boy.

Caelisms

2011-12-02T05:54:00.000-06:00

Cael is full of information and he feels the need to share it with everyone multiple times a day. Here are a few of the things we hear on a regular basis. You know he has to remind us just in case we ever forget.

"Mommy, I tooted!"

"You need to say excuse me when you toot."

"It come out my bum."

"Yeah, that's how it works."

"Dat so silly!"

Then he breaks into a big belly laugh and I can't help laughing with him.

"Mommy, boys go potty standing up."

"Yeah."

"Dey don't sit down. Girls sit down to go potty."

"Yep"

"You and dister a girl?"

"Yes, we're girls."

"I a boy and so is Daddy."

"That's right."

"We stand up to potty."

"Thanks Cael, I got it."

I'm not sure why this last conversation happens a lot. We've never had this happen in our house. He's come close and I think that he keeps remembering.

"Mommy, I don't poop in the bathtub."

"You're right. You poop in the potty."

"I a good boy. Bad boys poop in the bathtub."

"No one poops in the bathtub. You've never pooped in the bathtub."
"Yeah, I a good boy. Mommy, you don't poop in the bathtub either."

"No one has ever pooped in the bathtub. Don't worry about it."

"Tay. I a good boy."

"Yes you are."

"Tay."

Sister Mary Grace II

2011-11-30T05:36:00.000-06:00

I've joked here about Taryn's clumsiness and we all know she comes by it naturally. I'm pretty sure 90% of it came from me and I'm giving Shawn 10% because I don't want to be fully responsible for that. Here's a little example for you...

While attempting to walk into the bathroom, I misjudged the distance between the door frame and my arm, causing me to run full force into the door frame, which knocked me back a foot. Usually I just bump it with the edge of my arm, but I'm pretty sure I bruised from this one. While trying to close the bathroom door, I hit the door on my foot, causing it to shoot open and I barely caught it before it crashed into the wall. The only upside is that no one saw me do it.

Ah Sister Mary Grace I (aka Taryn) you'll have to go a long way to live up to my clumsy name.

Just Like Daddy

2011-11-29T04:48:00.000-06:00

The kids love to play Shawn's guitar with him. In fact, it's quickly becoming their favorite activity, even over playing games on the iPad.

Cael concentrates so hard when he is working.

I think it's a little harder for dister to see the strings.

Cael gets very excited to use the "guitar pickle". It's not a pick so don't try to correct him!

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-11-28T05:48:00.000-06:00

The kids were rather excited to put up the Christmas tree this year. I may need to invest in a few less fragile ornaments. I lost count of how many times I said "That's breakable! Don't touch!"

Taryn thought she was pretty big stuff since she got to help wind the lights.

Sometimes we need a little help.

Sometimes we need a lot of help. Cael only put ornaments on one branch and I decided to leave them that way.

Dister is always willing to help.

Cael said "I did it!" after every single ornament.

Fake cheesy smile...perfect for the holidays.

Thankful

2011-11-24T18:39:00.000-06:00

As Taryn said "Today we celebrate the pilgrims. They lived a long time ago with the dinosaurs."
Today, I'm thankful for family, for crowding around a table and talking over the top of each other.

I'm thankful for the friends whose emails and texts were an added joy today.

I'm thankful that the fire on the grill went out easily and didn't burn down the house, although it may have scorched a few of my dad's Christmas lights.

I'm thankful for all that I have. My blessings are many this year.

He Should Have Known Better

2011-11-22T05:10:00.000-06:00

While I was at clinicals on Saturday, Shawn took the kids to get my Christmas present. I'm pretty sure they heard a long lecture on not telling mommy what they got me, but they apparently forgot.

"Mommy, I'm not going to tell you what color ornaments we got you."

"Taryn, you're not supposed to tell mommy what we got her!"

"I didn't."

Shawn was not happy, I was impressed she lasted a whole two hours before she told me.

The next day at dinner...

"Mommy...(something that sounded like Chinese)...football helmet."

"What did you say Cael?"

"Cael! I told you not to tell mommy about her present. Presents are supposed to be a surprise."

"Otay Daddy."

I'm really surprised that Cael outlasted Taryn in telling me about the presents. If I had to guess which kid would let the secret out first, I would have bet good money on Cael Bear.

I'm sure I'll still be surprised on Christmas morning. I have no idea what my little elves are up to!

Snuggles

2011-11-21T05:40:00.000-06:00

Shawn got this picture with his cell phone and posted it on Facebook. I had to post it again here. I absolutely love it. Cael had been up early Saturday morning. In fact, he was up when I left for clinicals. Cael really wanted to go back to sleep with sister after he went potty, but Shawn let him sleep in our bed instead so sister could sleep.

Apparently, he still needed cuddles from his dister.

Burnt Marshmallow

2011-11-20T05:00:00.000-06:00

I've said before that Cael is my sensitive boy, my burnt marshmallow. He's all tough on the outside, but he has a pretty soft heart inside. We've been working on less crying/whining and more using our words lately. Whining is a bad word in our house and it's been present a lot lately. Apparently the school is trying to work on the same thing with all the kids because they are having the same whining/crying problem.

We've been tougher lately, less talking about the crying (which really means less cuddles and hugs while crying) and more going to time out until he gets his feelings under control and talked about what happened (and then we can do hugs). We've had lots of talks about when it is appropriate to cry and when it isn't. One rule in our house, if you whine or cry for something, you've just guarunteed you're not going to get it. The first time he had to go to time out, he cried and cried for mommy. It was one of those feel good moments for me. He's been doing some better lately

My favorite burnt marshmallow moment was a few weeks ago. Cael had been pushed down by an older kid at daycare. Shawn was explaining that first Cael had to tell him to stop and then if the kid didn't stop, Cael could push him back, but only in defense. Shawn very very gently pushed Cael's shoulder and asked him what he should do now.

Cael looked right at Shawn and said "Daddy, why you push me?" with a quivering lower lip. He really learned that lesson huh? Even Taryn's explanation and demonstration with daddy didn't help.

It's funny how quickly he can get his feelings hurt because he's all about wrestling and tackling just about anyone he can catch so you would think someone pushing him was an open invitation.

Proud Mama

2011-11-18T05:20:00.000-06:00

I've debated about posting this or not...it feels kind of like bragging, which I'm not big on most of the time. In the end I decided I'm too proud of Taryn not to post it.

We had parent teacher conferences on Wednesday. We got good reports on both kids. Cael can do things at school (like write the letters of his name) that he won't do for me at home. That kid is busted!

Taryn also got a good report. In fact, she got what I feel is some of the best praise. Taryn's teacher said that Taryn is one the few students in her class who makes sure everyone is included and will go play with kids that others won't play with. It honestly seems to vary day by day who is allowed in the group and who isn't (at least by Taryn's account). I don't understand how four years can rate someone as lacking and not worthy of inclusion, but they do.

We've told Taryn for over a year that everyone needs to be included and there is only one exception to this rule. We've had this discussion so many times I'm pretty sure that Taryn could recite my lecture without any prompting. It was surprising to hear that she was standing up to the crowd because those aren't the stories I hear from Taryn. Of course, I'm proud of her for achieveing academically at preschool, but standing up for others makes me so very proud of my girl.

"See mommy, I do listen to what you say...sometimes."

A moment I missed

2011-11-14T05:42:00.000-06:00

When I got home from clinical on Saturday morning, Shawn had a great story to tell me. He got to sleep in until 8 AM, which is rare in our house. I was rather jealous of him. Usually someone is yelling that they need to go potty (Cael) or else they are talking back and forth to each other from their beds (which usually entails yelling back and forth).

Shawn said that when he got up on, Cael and Taryn were both fast asleep in Taryn's bed. Taryn had her arm wrapped around Cael and they were both snuggled in. Shawn went to get the camera, but of course they woke up before he take the picture. I wish I could have seen that.

Since they were both up when I got up to go to clinicals at 5, I'm surprised they went back to sleep. Taryn is usually awake before dawn and stays awake. She told Shawn that Cael got up to go potty and then she let him sleep with her. I hope he realizes what a good big sister he has.

Good Morning

2011-11-10T05:18:00.001-06:00

One good thing about changing my shift at work was that I didn't have to get up at 4:15 anymore. However, I did have to learn how to share the bathroom. I've spent 5 years being the only one awake at that time of day and I rather enjoyed the peace and quiet.

I have to say, getting to see Taryn and Cael in the morning really makes my day. Taryn explains to Cael what all my make up is for and when she doesn't know, she makes it up. Cael comes into the bathroom every morning with a "Boo...I scare you!" even though I heard his door open and waved at him. It's becoming my daily dose of silly.

Cael's Deep Thoughts

2011-11-08T05:28:00.000-06:00

I've tried to imitate Taryn's running conversations here, but I don't come close to doing it justice. I try so hard to keep up with her train of thought, but sometimes I get lost in all the information coming out of her mouth. It might also have something to do with the fact that she doesn't tell a story in order, but that's a whole other story.

The other day, while Taryn was off and running sounding more like a teenager than a child, Cael turned to Shawn

"Daddy."

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I don't understand why dister (sister) talkt (talked) so much."

We tried really hard not to laugh as Cael shook his head. Taryn was still talking and I doubt she heard a word Cael said.

I Love Fall

2011-11-04T05:23:00.000-05:00

I've had this pictures on my camera for a bit, waiting for me to get around to uploading. One of my favorite things about fall is jumping in a pile of leaves and apparently Cael and Taryn feel the same way.

"I tover you up dister!"

"Get you face dister!"

Cael was quite the clown. He had to march to the leaves so he could jump in.

I have no idea what he is doing.

My sweet, sweet girl.

The Big 3-0!

2011-11-03T04:29:00.004-05:00

Since I'm thirty today, I thought I'd take a look back at myself over the last three decades.

1981 was a good year.

1991. Seriously, who let me think perming my bangs was a good idea?

2001. Twenty candles seems a little excessive.

2011. There's nothing like good friends to help you celebrate 30 years.

Turning thirty doesn't bother me. I know some people (ahem Shawn) were not very happy about being thirty. I guess that's one of the perks of being married to someone who is older than you. You're always the young one by comparison!

There Are No Words

2011-11-01T05:45:00.000-05:00

"Cael you need to go potty so we can go to bed."

"Tay."

A minute later...

"Cael, I told you to go potty."

"I am."

"No you're not. You're just laying on the lid to the toilet."

"Oh."

He said it with such a surpised voice that I had to walk out of the room because I was laughing so hard. My little funny man would have just lapped that up and probably continued to lay on the lid to the toilet. I really think he was pretending to fly because he was balanced on his tummy and flapping his arms up and down. I'm not sure if he was surprised because he didn't realize he wasn't going or potty or (more likely) because he didn't think I was smart enough to know that he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T17:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!

"Let's go Daddy!"

Taking a deep breath

2011-10-26T04:43:00.000-05:00

I’ve refrained from writing about school here since starting back up in August. I’m not sure why I felt the need to keep my thoughts to myself, but I did. I know how lucky I am in this economy to have a full time job and be able to attend school. I’m extremely grateful for all the support I’ve received from my friends and family. Sometimes my thoughts feel like complaints and maybe they are. I don’t want to complain because this was my choice. I knew what I was getting into and therefore shouldn’t complain. However, this has always been my space to vent and I feel the need to vent.

We’ve hit the midway point for this semester and it feels like there is still so far to go. Part of this stems from the schedule change that started last week. One class finished so it’s nice to be home before 10:30 on Tuesday nights. The other change involved going from lab on Saturday for two hours to clinicals on Saturday and Sunday for seven hours each day. The loss of time with my family and the loss of study time have been a little overwhelming. Especially when I told Taryn that I wouldn’t be at gymnastics on Saturday morning and she told me how that hurt her heart. Ouch. I always adjust to the changes; it just takes me a week or two. I’m sure Shawn can attest to my ever changing moods as I adjust to these changes. Poor man, he gets to bear the brunt of my emotional instability or to use his words “mood swings”.

On top of that, I’ve gotten some random comments, one from a stranger and one a coworker that I can’t let go of. The first came from a stranger who saw me in my scrubs and made a point to tell me “You can still get out of nursing. You’re going to regret it.” You’re right stranger, I should quit. You must know me really well. I’m still stewing about that random stupid comment. I need to just let it go. The second comment was from a new coworker who said “Wow, you’re really busy. I’m sure your kids really miss you. It must be so hard on them to be without their mom so much. I don’t think I would do that to my kids.” You’re right. I’m being horrible to my children. Better call social services on me. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten that comment and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I still feel the need to justify my time away from them with explaining how we spend our time doing more “special” fun things and when I get home we cuddle on the couch or play on my bed. You know what else? My kids have a really good dad who does lots of fun things with them so I don’t see where they’re being hurt by this as much as she seemed to think they were.

Going to school, working and family time is all a very careful balancing act for me. Most of the time I feel like I’m walking straight across that wire, but then things come in like being moved to a new position at work or my mom going to the hospital that tip me so I feel like I might just fall. I always regain my footing, but it takes some mental effort and some help. I know I’ll get through this and do it well. Let’s face it, I’m way too type A to do anything less than my best. I have learned to let some things go, hence the wrinkled clothes my family is currently sporting. I got them clean, just not folded. I will someday get to the pictures on my camera that need to be posted here. Sometimes, I just need the reminder to take a deep breath and focus on what I’m working toward instead of the little things that pile up from time to time.

So I’m going to focus more on having the week off for Thanksgiving and celebrating my 30th birthday with friends. Soon I’ll decorating for Christmas and planning a trip to Boston to see my in-laws and Christmas with my family. Those are the things that are really important anyway.

Drama-Rama

2011-10-19T04:30:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of Taryn's mouth. My little drama queen certainly has an expressive way with words. I wasn't paying that much attention to what she said since I was driving home and there were children playing close to the street that made me nervous. At first I thougth I heard her incorrectly, but that didn't turn out to be the case.

"Mommy, today my face was sad with tears."

"Your face was what?"

"It was sad with tears."

"Does that mean you were crying?"

"My face was sad with tears because the middle of my neck hurt."

"You were crying because your throat hurt?"

"That's what I said."

Sometimes I think I need a translator. Only Taryn could make crying into that her face was sad with tears. She gave such a big sniff and a sigh every time she said it. There drama is never ending around here.

Fun Time with Daddy

2011-10-18T04:25:00.000-05:00

Taryn got a lot of Play-Doh for her birthday and we have spent a lot of time making creations. I think Daddy wins the award for the most creative use.

It's a two for one kinda deal. We had fun playing and learned about the hunter and the prey of the animal kingdom.

Fall Day

2011-10-15T19:25:00.000-05:00

Since I start clinicals Sunday morning and my time at home on the weekends will be even less than what it was, I decided to have a fun day with the kids. We had a great time at the park and the weather was perfect for this time of year.

The H Word

2011-10-13T05:09:00.000-05:00

Since starting a public preschool/daycare, we've had our fair share of mean words and issues with hitting. I've been wondering if we'd have an experience with someone using the phrase "I hate you."

Yesterday, Taryn got her first experience with this.

"Mommy, X said she hated me and I couldn't play with her. But then she let me play with her in the green room later so it was ok."

There are so many things wrong with that story that I didn't know where to begin. We had a long discussion about how hate is not a very nice word and one that we don't use. We had a discussion about finding someone else to play with and still being nice to the person when or if they decide they want to play again. What I really wanted to tell Taryn was that she didn't need this child as a friend because she's not a nice child. I didn't say it, but it was hard not to.

I really wish this wasn't something kids had to deal with. I wish I could say this wasn't the first time this child's name came up as a bully. Usually she doesn't allow one other child to play in the group. I have no idea why she's got all this power over the other kids, but she does. We've had many talks about standing up for our friends and that everyone gets to play. I know Taryn tries hard to stand up for her friends, but it is a hard thing to do sometimes.

It's hard to watch these scenarios play out from the side lines. I remember the girl who was like this in my elementary school. Looking back at it, I wonder why we all catered to her and tried so hard to keep her from being mad at us. We should have ignored her and not given in to her. That's what I want to tell Taryn and yet I can't do it.

All I can hope is that this child will change her behavior and that Taryn keeps standing up for her friends and herself. Life should not be this complicated at this stage.

Wasn't Me

2011-10-11T05:51:00.003-05:00

The other day Cael had a little bit of an accident on the way home from preschool. You gotta love when the car fills up with that smell.

"Cael, did you poopy in your pants?"

"I didn't poopy in my pants yesterday."

"Did you poopy in your pants today?"
"I didn't poopy in my pants yesterday."

"I know you didn't do it yesterday, but what about today."

"ummm..."

The silence said it all.

Apparently Cael can't have applesauce and baked beans on the same day, although that may have been more information than you wanted to know.

Mom of the Year

2011-10-10T05:19:00.000-05:00

Cael may be potty trained and sleeping in big boy underwear at night, but he still has a problem of getting up a lot to go potty after bedtime. I can almost always count on him getting up to go potty about two seconds after I have tucked him in. Even if he has just gone potty, he still has to get up and try again. It is really amazing to me that he has his timing down so perfectly that one second after my bum hits the couch, his door opens. We've hit up to ten times in the few hours between his bedtime and mine.

The other day, I was finishing up supper for Shawn and I in the kitchen and Shawn had taken Shiloh for a walk. The kids had been in bed for all of two minutes. I'm surprised Cael stayed in bed that long. It probably had something to do with his radar not going off because I was not sitting down. I heard his door open and he said he had to go potty. I told him to go and I would be in a minute. I really didn't want my dinner to burn and I figured he was big enough to go potty on his own for a few minutes. I honestly didn't think he had to go and just wanted out of bed.

Unfortunately, this time when Cael lifted the lid to the toilet, he also lifted the seat. This usually wouldn't be a problem, but apparently he had to poop. I came into the bathroom a couple of minutes later to find him sitting in the toilet bowl with his lower lip shaking. As soon as he saw me, he burst into tears. I should probably mention that both Taryn and Cael like to sleep in my t-shirts. My shirt was soaked about half way up with toilet water.

I'm pretty sure Shawn is still gagging at the thought of toilet water soaking the shirt. I got the shirt off of him without getting too much on him and we did a quick sponge bath. Cael went potty and after being sufficiently comforted and mommy apologized a lot for not helping him, he went back to bed.

It is kind of funny, but at the same time I felt pretty bad for not being in there with him to help. I wonder if he'll ever forget to put the seat down when he has to sit again?

The Sense of a Five Year Old

2011-10-07T04:26:00.000-05:00

Taryn came into the kitchen crying the other day.

"What's the matter?"

"I picked you a flower the other day and I put it under my pillow so I could give it to you. I forgot and now it's dead!"

"You put a flower under your pillow?"

"Yes and it's dead!"

"On your bed?"

"Yes and it's DEAD!"

Apparently I was hung up on the wrong part of that story. After a few hugs, we had to discuss that flowers usually didn't do very well under pillows and would be much happier in a cup with some water. I have to wonder where she got that idea.

Conversations with Cael

2011-10-06T04:24:00.000-05:00

"Mommy, tooper (Cooper) a pirate."

"Oh yeah, he is a pirate for Halloween?"

"No. I mad."

"Why are you mad?"

"I a mad owl."

"Why are you a mad owl?"

"I got to flap my wings like this."

"Ok. Why are you an owl?"

"Because I a owl."

Brave Girl

2011-10-05T04:23:00.000-05:00

I thought she'd be scared to do some of the gymnastic things because I certainly was when my parents enrolled me many years ago. She's proven me wrong every time. She just loves everything she gets to do there.

Big Girl Bike

2011-10-04T04:09:00.001-05:00

Taryn got a big girl bike for her birthday.

Cael had to tag along on his trike.

Let's go dister (sister)!

Now we're rolling!

I'm pretty sure Cael would do this all day.

It's My Party

2011-10-03T04:41:00.000-05:00

Taryn got to have her first friend birthday party this year. She thought she was pretty big stuff.

Obstacle course!

Of course Cael isn't far behind his sister.

Jump!

She has no fear.

Showing off what she got to do at class that morning.

This was by far the favorite activity. Cael looked scared to death, but still wanted to fly like Tinkerbell a second time.

Cael would have happily jumped off that mat all day.

I swear every child's party we've attended the kids start out sitting in a nice circle to watch opening presents and by the second present they're all standing as close as they can. At least they had a good time.

It Doesn't Seem Possible

2011-10-02T04:11:00.004-05:00

Today, Taryn is five years old.

Let me say that again. She's five years old.

Somehow in the back of my mind, five years of age was what separated little kids from big kids. I'm not sure why I drew that line at five, but I did. Five is the age when she becomes an elementary student, which we all know is a hop, skip and a jump away from high school and beyond. I can see her starting to grow up, to need me less. Then if I think about it too much I can see her leaving home to start her own life in the big, wide world.

Turning thirty doesn't really bother me, but being the mom of a five year old makes me feel old. How can this child, my first born, possibly be five? Where did all that time go? It doesn't seem that long ago that I was pacing the floor with a newborn baby trying desperately to get her to sleep.

When did this child...

become this child?

Time played a trick on me when I wasn't paying attention.

Happy birthday sweetheart. You're turning into a delightful young lady and we're so proud of who you are already.

Proud Sister

2011-09-28T04:40:00.001-05:00

Cael had asked to sleep in his underwear instead of a pull-up. We drug out a plastic sheet and let him try it Monday night. He did well, besides his usual habit of getting up for a drink ten times. Cael woke up dry and I'm hoping this is the beginning of a diaper free house for us.

Taryn was apparently very proud of her little brother. She announced that Cael slept in his underwear and didn't potty in them at all (like for real) to all of her daycare friends and teachers upon walking into the classroom this morning.

Good thing he's not old enough to be embarrassed by that yet.

There's No Reasoning With That

2011-09-27T04:25:00.001-05:00

"Mommy, Cael won't stop chasing me!"

"So stop running Taryn."

Even though Taryn sat on the couch, Cael wouldn't leave her alone.

"Cael, please stop chasing your sister."

"But mommy, I a lion. I eat girls."

I had to laugh at how matter-of-fact he was about being a lion. Obviously, I should have known that lions need to eat little girls and he was merely fulfilling his basic needs.

Pumpkin Farm 2011

2011-09-26T04:14:00.001-05:00

It's a Pavey family tradition to go to the pumpkin farm for Taryn's birthday. The kids always have a good time. Taryn was being brave this year and was going to jump on the pumpkin pillow. She made 3 jumps before it was too much for her.

When Sassy Turns Snarky

2011-09-23T04:54:00.001-05:00

On Monday, Taryn was more than a little upset when she arrived at preschool and realized she had forgotten her family tree at home. Taryn and Shawn had a little moment where she was once again reminded that crying does not get her what she wants. Apparently, this was a very big deal to her since I heard about it that afternoon when I picked her up. She just couldn't wait to tattle on her daddy.

On Tuesday when they got in the car, Shawn handed her the family tree.

"Daddy, I'm really glad you didn't forget my family tree like you did yesterday."

A little sass, a little snark...where could she have possibly come by that one?

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

2011-09-22T05:09:00.000-05:00

Cael and Taryn have reached the age where they have some little game of one-upmanship. We've had multiple arguments over this lately and the arguments seem to be coming more and more often.

"Taryn, we don't blow bubbles in our milk."

"Yeah dister (sister), we don't blow bubbles in our milt (milk).

"Cael, we don't correct other people. That's for mommies and daddies to do."

"Yeah Cael, we don't correct other people."

"Taryn, were you listening to what I just said?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you correct Cael?"

"Because you didn't tell me not to correct him."

"Yes, I did."

"Yeah, she did dister."

"Both of you need to stop."

"She's talking to you Cael."

And then I laid my head on the table in defeat. I think we'll be revisiting this argument a lot over the next several weeks. Perhaps I should just buy some boxing gloves and let them duke it out?

Kick Me While I'm Down

2011-09-21T04:39:00.001-05:00

I still have about a month and a half until I turn thirty. While I'm perfectly ok with turning thirty, I still think it's a dirty trick to come home to this from my local hospital.

I know I'm hitting the big 3-0 soon, but I don't think I'm needing work done. I'm not opposed to a little augmentation, but I'm pretty sure a brochure isn't going to convince me to come in. I'm hoping this is the result of being a patient at the hospital in other departments and not something they send out once you hit a certain age.

I'm still young at heart...doesn't that count for something?

Family Ties

2011-09-20T04:36:00.002-05:00

Taryn got to make a family tree with some help. She made a family apple tree with special apples. Of course, we had to have all the uncles, aunties, and cousins too.

Four Going On Fourteen

2011-09-19T04:42:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize that Taryn would develop teenage grammar issues at the age of four. I wasn't really looking forward to the word like entering into her conversations. Lately I've had to a lot of time explaining the proper use of that word.

"Mommy, like you won't believe what happened today. My teacher like totally told us to start calling her Miss E instead of just E. It was like so weird. Like I don't even know why she like did that. FOR REAL mommy. And then like C totally didn't remember to do it, but I like did all the time. And like mommy, you wouldn't even believe it."
It's enough to make me start twitching. I don't know what the record is for the number of times like has been used in a sentence, but I'm pretty sure Taryn is working on breaking it. She also likes to use "for real" a lot as well. Seriously, I thought I'd have ten more years before this type of conversation kicked in.

Sometimes You Just Have to Wonder

2011-09-15T04:13:00.000-05:00

"Mommy, we had watermelon today at school."

"That's mommy's favorite. Did you like it?"

"Yeah. I dipped it in ketchup and then it tasted just like cheese."

"Wow, Taryn. That's an interesting way to eat it. You know if you don't dip it in ketchup, it'll taste like watermelon, not cheese."

"But I like cheese."

She told me this yesterday and I still get a little gag reflux going every time I think about her eating watermelon with ketchup.

We can never forget

2011-09-13T04:59:00.001-05:00

I hadn't planned on writing anything about 9/11. I didn't know anyone who died because of those horrific events. I tried my best to shield my children from seeing anything about it in some need to preserve their innonence for a few more years. Everytime I read or watch something about it, I get covered in goosebumps and I can't help but think about all those who lost their loved ones. Since I tend to write about my worries because it makes me feel better, I had to turn to this space to find some peace.

While watching the 9/11 remembrances and reading the thoughts of others on that day, I couldn't help but be a little thankful that my children were still to young to ask questions about that day. I still wrestle with the emotions that come with remembering that day. The fear, the horror in watching those planes hit the World Trade Center over and over as it played on the news, and the sorrow I felt for those who had lost loved ones. Mostly I was grateful that I didn't lose anyone in those events, which is a somewhat selfish emotion but it is what it is.

I can never forget that at I was sitting in West Science debating if the ten minute rule applied in college or if we'd be in trouble for leaving. Our professor was late and when he did show up he said that a plane had hit the World Trade Center but he didn't know what had happened. Two hours later, we got out of class to find that all hell had broken loose.

The days and months afterward were just as scary. Watching as my country turned to war and knowing that people I knew would be going. Ten years later and 6,000+ deaths due to war, I have to wonder if we made the right choice. As the press talked about possible terror attacks that might occur during ceremonies, I had to wonder if we were any safer now than we were then.

Mostly as I watched my country remember the very large scar on our psyche, I wished that we could do better for the future generations to provide peace, both in our country and the world. I hope that our children do better than we did in finding a peaceful solution to our problems.

Peace be with you.

Lessons for my children

2011-09-12T04:04:00.000-05:00

My dad and I were talking the other day about how this blog will be an interesting way for my children to understand my (somewhat sarcastic) perspective on various things that have happened in our lives. As much as this is my space, it's still their stories I tend to tell. While thinking about what my dad said, I started thinking about things I hope my children learn and so I decided to tell them.

1. Know that your father and I will always love you and will always be there for you. We'll do the best we can to help you achieve whatever is it you want to do and we'll be there for support when you need us. If you get into trouble, it's better to talk to us sooner rather than later so we can help you.

2. Decide who it is you want to be. Even if you change your mind later, always work towards being the person you want to be.

3. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and learn to be the first to say "I'm sorry". It is far harder to admit that you did wrong and strive to do better than it is to ignore the fact you did something wrong in the first place. It is also better to apologize for the things that you do wrong or that hurt others.

4. Life is unfair. The sooner you learn that life isn't always fair, the better things will go. The people you love might hurt you, hard work doesn't always pay off the way you thought it would. Even in light of this, work hard and love often. You have to work through the pain and face what lies on the other side. Don't get stuck focusing on how things didn't work out. Learn from these situations and apply it the next time.

5. Love someone who is kind and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Never settle simply because you're afraid nothing else will come along.

6. Remember how much fun you had with your sibling when you were young. Hopefully you won't grow apart as you age. Remember how much you love each other. Let's face it, you get stuck wtih your dad and I when we're old and it's better to have someone who understands just how annoying we'll be. We're going to try not to be, but I'm sure it's bound to happen.

7. Always stand up for others. Never be afraid to break from the crowd when you know what they are doing is wrong. You might become the next target for the group, but it's better than going along with something you don't agree with. Always be kind to others, especially the kids who are always picked on. You never know what others are going through and how much a kind word can help.

8. Never be afraid to voice your opinion. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't let others dictate what you do and how you respond. Follow what you're passionate about. There are people who won't be passionate about the same things and may try to stop you or tell you how wrong you are. Don't listen, even if it feels like you're all alone in what you believe.

9. Never be afraid to change your dream or make a new life for yourself. It's scary to think about changing, but I promise the change is worth it in the end. The change won't come without stress and most likely a lot of hard work, but finding happiness is always worthwhile.

10. One of the things that no one tells you about having kids is that you can read all the books beforehand and still have no idea what you're doing when that child actually arrives. You will learn as you go and it will be the most crazy wonderful time in your life. Your dad and I may have made mistakes along with the way, but we did the best we could. Hopefully we won't inflict the need for lifelong therapy. We've tried to teach you manners and responsibility along with the need to understand rules, even when you break them. We're firm, but we love you madly and we always will.

Ask a child

2011-09-07T05:16:00.000-05:00

On Sunday while Shawn was cooking us dinner, he was getting a little frustated with Shiloh hanging around him in the kitchen.

"Kendra, did you feed Shiloh tonight?"

"Yep. We did."

"Then why is she out here begging?"

"Daddy, maybe she's still hungry."

I try really hard not to laugh when Taryn calls out the obvious answer for us, but I couldn't hold this one in.

Oh so creepy

2011-09-06T05:08:00.000-05:00

If there is one thing I hope my kids don't get from me, it's that they aren't afraid of the dark. I hate the dark and all the scary movies I watched as a kid always come back to haunt me. I have to wonder now why I ever thought watching Child of the Corn was a good idea, especially since we watched it during the time we were all detasseling corn. I know, we were brillant kids. It also doesn't help that I am really good at freaking myself out...and apparently so are my children.

As I was tucking Taryn in before I went to bed, she sat straight up in bed obviously only partially awake.

"Mommy! What are you DOING?"

"I'm just tucking you in and then I'm going to bed."

"Ok. What are they doing?" This is when she points to the empty air behind me.

"There's no one there, Taryn."

"They're watching me."

Seriously, this stuff only happens when Shawn is gone. I quickly reassured her there was no one there and then proceeded to jump with every sound I heard that night.

Three and Five

2011-09-04T19:37:00.000-05:00

We finally got around to taking Cael's three year pictures. I know I'm on the ball with this. Since it is only a month to Taryn's birthday, we decided just to do pictures of both kids while the weather was nice.

He's oddly proud of his belly.

He's not so sure about this kissing stuff.

This is his mad face, except he's trying not to smile.

That's right...we're tough.

It's really a shame that they don't look much a like.

Baby Bumblebee

2011-09-02T05:07:00.004-05:00

Once upon when Shawn and I were first dating (we're talking ten years ago here), there was a song playing that sounding a lot like the baby bumblebee song. Shawn started singing the baby bumblebee song and I asked where he had heard it. He told me he made it. I either never heard this song as a kid or more likely didn't remember it at all, so I believed him when he told me that he made it up. Imagine my surprise when we're sitting with his parents and brothers a year later and it comes to light that he didn't make it up at all. Even better is that the whole family starting singing it to me. Apparently, I'm really gullible. In Shawn's defense, he said he thought telling me he wrote the baby bumblebee song was like saying he had written the ABC song. He assumed I knew he was joking. I really started laughing when Cael came home yesterday and sang me the new song he learned. I think Cael sings it the best of anyone.

First day of school!

2011-09-01T05:03:00.000-05:00

Taryn's first day of preschool this year! I'm pretty sure this is an imposter and she is actually still two years old!

Creepy Crawlies

2011-08-31T05:05:00.000-05:00

Last week, Taryn's guinea pigs, Hippie and Snuggles, went to the big guinea pig house in the sky. We have no idea what happened, but Hippie died and then Snuggles followed a few days later. My guess is an infection, but who knows. I can't say that I was disappointed to see them ago, although I did feel bad for a little girl who was heartbroken.

Since we promised she could get another pet, one that wasn't quite so smelly, she was reminding us a lot to do it. One trip to the pet store and we became the proud owners of hermit crabs. Personally, I think it's a vast improvement over the tarantula she was eyeing.

Just What I Wanted

2011-08-30T05:01:00.000-05:00

While sitting on my lap the other day, Cael stuck his hand in my face.

"Here mommy."

"What is?"

"A booder (booger) from my nose."

"Gross! Go get a tissue."

"You tate (take) it?"

"No! Eww Cael!"

He kept waving his hand at me with the booger on his finger and laughing. Pretty sure that he takes after his daddy. Luckily, I had learned that lesson the hard way with Taryn and remembered not to just grab what they are handing me.

Why? Why? Why? Why?

2011-08-29T04:09:00.000-05:00

Taryn lives in the land of 1,000 questions. She always has a need to know about everything and anything. We hear why probably several hundred times a day. I was asking her why she asked so many questions the other day.

"Taryn, why do you ask so many questions?"

"Mommy, sometimes my lips have a hard time staying quiet. How do I learn if I don't ask?"

"Touché, Taryn, touché."

The devastation of Taryn

2011-08-26T05:28:00.000-05:00

While getting out of the car the other day, Taryn's papers blew away. I was able to catch most of them. Apparently, one of the pieces of paper that she cut with fancy scissors got away. She told me she really wanted that paper, but by then it was long gone. I didn't even see it fly away and I had no idea where to even begin to look. Assuming with my logical adult mind that it's just a piece of blank paper and we could cut more paper, I told her we weren't going to look for it. Taryn instantly dissolved into a puddle of tears.

After a half an hour of crying and yelling about that little piece of paper, I was done. I told Taryn she could get ready for a bath or she could go to bed right now because I wasn't arguing this point with her anymore. She managed to make it into the bathtub with a lot of hiccuping sighs and need for hugs.

Finally, after the bath was done, she asked if she could sit on my lap. When I responded that she could, she grabbed my hand and said "And you won't do any laundry or anything?"

Apparently in my need to get things done in a very specific amount of time, I had forgotten to just be with the kids. We sat and rocked on the chair for awhile while watching a cartoon. Her cries for her paper stopped and we moved on.

I had forgotten what it was like to be little and be completely devasted by something simple that most adults brush off. I guess it's the equivalent of my purse just floating off into sky. Pretty sure I'd be devasted by that. Perhaps what I need more of is cuddling with the kids and less laundry. Since I don't think the laundry fairy is going to come anytime soon, I guess I'll just have to work on a bit more balance between chores, school, and family.

Slipping Through My Fingers Part 2

2011-08-25T04:42:00.000-05:00

I've had a few moments where my children surprised me by showing how much older they are getting. With Taryn, I vividly remember the day her hand slipped out of mine. That moment hit me like a brick because I wasn't quite prepared for my baby to grow up so quickly.

The other day I noticed that Cael is no longer sleeping with his baby. Baby is still in his bed, but he doesn't have to hold him anymore to go to sleep. It used to be he needed both his dog and his baby in his arms. In fact, his baby and his dog were our go-to punishment for when he got out of control temper tantrums. Apparently the loss of his baby no longer that important to him.

I always knew he'd outgrow Baby, but he's only three. Can't I have my baby just a little bit longer?

Cousins!

2011-08-24T05:01:00.002-05:00

We celebrated Malynn's birthday last week, which meant some quality time for the cousins.

Even though we missed out on the Marcus Fair this year, grandma made sure that the kids had t-shirts just in case they needed to remember how much fun the fair is.

Hiatus

2011-08-23T04:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't been so active in posting here in the past few weeks or so. Nursing classes start today. I've been trying to mentally prepare in the past few weeks. Two semesters off between finishing my prerequisites and starting the actual nursing program made me a little reluctant to start again. Apparently I got used to sitting on the couch.

I've been alternating between being excited to start and dreading it. I think the dread comes in part because so many people need to tell me how many people fail at this program, how little time I'll have, and how demanding it is. While they paint a pretty negative picture, I kept thinking that while people do fail, others succeed. I may no longer have a social life for the next year and a half, but at least I'll have something I've wanted for quite some time. At least I'll be able to make a change in my life. And to be honest, it's five semesters and that is a very short time when compared to the rest of my life. Plus, I also have that quirk in my nature that rears up whenever someone tells me I can't do something. I have to love that quirk that says I'm not about to be that negative statistic for them to tell others about.

This may be the hardest program that Kirkwood has, or so I've been told. To my mind that just makes all my work much more worthwhile. I know I can do this. I just have to keep telling myself over and over again that I can. I also have to remember to listen to my family and friends. You all have been nothing but supportive and I can't thank you enough.

Here we go

2011-08-10T04:22:00.000-05:00

While driving home from daycare the other day Cael and I had an interesting conversation.

"Mommy, I push *insert boy's name here* today."

"Why did you push him?"

"I wanted to."

"Did he push you?"

"Yep."

"Did you push him first?"

"Yep."

I asked his teacher about it the next day and she didn't know anything about it so I'm hoping this was just boys being boys. I love that Cael was so honest about why he pushed the other kid. Honesty....it's a wonderful thing.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!

2011-08-09T04:34:00.000-05:00

Those kids were fast as lightening!

Like mother like daughter

2011-08-08T04:26:00.000-05:00

I always used to say that I loved when Taryn was just a bit sassy. I wanted my daughter to learn to stand on her own two feet and give as good as she got. Taryn has recently become interested in deciding her career, which changes day to day.

"Mommy, I'm going to be airplane pilot when I grow up."

"You can be whatever you want when you grow up."

"That's not what so-and-so said at school."

"Just because they don't believe you, doesn't mean you can't do it."

"I know Mommy. I just ignore them and keep on doing what I'm doing."

Whlie I was agreeing with her, I was mentally jumping up and cheering for my daughter.

Family Reunion part 3

2011-08-04T04:44:00.003-05:00

This year at the reunion, some of the family wanted a picture of everyone. Luckily my cousin has a remote to the timer on his camera so we were able to get this family picture. Of course, outside was the only place large enough to get us all in the shot and the pool was a little to tempting for some.

My cousin Robin was the first one in, I think pushed by my brother. Uncle Wes got Eric in the pool directly after that.

Nan was the next in the pool and then my brother pulled mom into the pool. A short while later, Mark made an unexpected dip and Robin's husband, Romeo, went in later. No idea how that happened.

That nice old man talking to Rose is the one who pushed in my brother. Somehow you can't take revenge on the old people.

There are two lessons to be learned from this. Don't carry your cell phone in your pocket when you're by the water. You're likely to lose it. Second lesson is if you don't want to get wet, hold onto a baby or an old person. They're the only ones who are safe from being thrown in.

Here Comes Sister Mary Grace

2011-08-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

Our front steps are not the most kid friendly. They're cement and there isn't a hand railing. Since Taryn learned to walk we've preached and preached about being careful on the stairs, go slow, take your time etc. Taryn generally doesn't heed this warning. She gets to going and forgets to be careful. I was sure that Mr. Cael "I-do-it-myself" would be the one to fall down the stairs, but I was wrong.

We were leaving to pick up Shiloh from the dog sitter's house. Taryn went first and then Cael. Shawn and I were bringing up the rear. I watched Taryn trip on her sandals and start to fall. There was no way to catch her without sending Cael down the steps too. She rolled several times and ended up with several scrapes to show for it.

She could have done a lot more damage than just scrapes and a few bruises. I thought that falling down the steps would help her remember to be more careful on the stairs, at least for awhile. I'd still be thinking that if I hadn't caught her climbing up the railing on the inside steps the very next day.

I don't think this is the last adventure for Sister Mary Grace.

Family Reunion part 2

2011-08-01T22:14:00.003-05:00

The highlight of the trip to St. Louis was to celebrate my great aunt and great uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. In order to celebrate in high style, we had to have a family reunion. I'm guessing we're not the typical family reunion. We really enjoy the pool and when there isn't one close by, we'll settle for water guns. This year someone had the wonderful idea to take pictures by the pool and several people ended up being pushed in. We're always a good time. Here's a few highlights.

The guests of honor. One of the few who weren't targeted for a push into the pool.

My cousins tattooed my kids with Cardinals tattoos to balance out the Red Sox tattoos my husband put on them. Shawn was really happy to come back from golfing to find these new tattoos.

One of the many hours spent in the pool. I wish I had pictures of everyone being pushed in, but I was afraid of losing my camera to the pool in the process. Unless you're holding a baby, you're fair game in water fights.

Taryn and her great aunt Shelley. She was a pretty happy girl because there were lots of cousins and aunts to play with.

It wouldn't be a party without cake. Amanda got called in to help her grandma after they reenacted cutting the cake.

I think Cael was as excited by the cake as by anything else that weekend.

By Sunday morning, this boy was tired and just needed his mommy.

Four generations of my mom's family.

The youngest generation of my mom's paternal side. I was really just happy to get one picture where they were all looking in the same direction.

One of my brothers and a mess of cousins.

The next rising generation. I'm pretty sure they'd all take turns pushing me in the pool if I called them old.

On the left are my grandparents. On the right, the couple of honor, my great aunt and great uncle. Both of these men happily kicked my behind at cards most of the weekend.

Cael was slowly losing his ability to stay awake. He didn't want to sit for long because he knew he'd be out like a light. He slept a lot on the way home and almost missed dinner since he couldn't wake up to eat. We had a great time and I can't wait for the next one!

Family Reunion part 1

2011-07-31T22:12:00.000-05:00

We spent in the weekend at St. Louis for a family reunion, but we had to go a day early to head to the zoo. First, Cael needed a backpack and he was so excited about it, he didn't want to take it off.

Taryn starting calling the hotel her new home. In fact, at the zoo, she kept asking us when we were going back to our new house at the hotel. First thing she had to do was tuck her stuffed animals into bed.

We got to the zoo as soon as they opened so we could pet the sting rays. The kids were not too excited about that. In fact, Cael had a complete crying fit because I picked him up to help him reach the sting rays. I think he thought I was going to drop him.

I'm really going to miss the days when we can't push the kids in a double stroller through the zoo. It's wonderful to push them through the crowd instead of losing them in it.

Cael was still afraid that the statues were going to get him and it took some coaxing to get him to stand next to the gorilla. He wore his sunglasses like that all day and any attempts to fix them were immediately adjusted to sitting above his eyes. So much for eye protection!

Of course, my son would be the one to pick the gorilla's nose after he got over his fear of the statue.

Taryn was telling me how the teeth on some alligator-like animal were. I have no idea what the name of said animal was, only that it wasn't a crocodile or alligator or anything else I might have recognized.

Cael couldn't let his sister steal all the attention. "Mommy, he's dis big!"

Cael thought the hippos were the coolest things he ever saw and he didn't want to leave the hippo area.

Cael got over his fear of statues to climb on the giant bug. I think I'd go with the gorilla over the bug.

Of course, no trip to a big zoo is complete without a souvenir. Taryn's hippo is named Taryn Rose Princess Toadstool. Cael's lion is named Jaguar. We're nothing but original in this family!

That Special Spot

2011-07-27T04:34:00.001-05:00

Taryn is only ticklish in a few spots, which she has recently started calling her "special tickle spots." Her special tickle spots include the bottom of her feet and her arm pit. Whenever she is tickled, she will almost instantly fall down on the floor from laughing so hard, which means she only gets tickled a minimum of three times a day because it is hilarious to watch.

Yesterday, Cael and I were tickling Taryn when she started yelling "Don't touch my special place!"

Then we had a discussion about how we're not going to call her tickle spot anything like that anymore and I was particularly thankful that the windows were closed because I don't want to have to explain that to Human Services.
Here's hoping this story doesn't come up at daycare!

Imagination at work

2011-07-26T05:13:00.001-05:00

Now that we understand Cael's words more, he has started saying some rather funny things. They're probably funnier to me because he has a very matter-of-fact tone when he says them.

"Mommy...monsters don't poopy in the castle, they poopy on the floor."

I was apparently operating under the misconception that they poopy in the castle.

No Jinx!

2011-07-25T04:47:00.000-05:00

I've held off on posting about this because I didn't want to jinx anything, but I'm taking the leap today.

Months ago, we started Cael on potty training. He had no interest in it whatsoever. However, he wasn't going to get to move classrooms and be with the kids his age who would be learning things he didn't already know...like what sounds cows make.

He took to going on the potty, but #2 was an issue for him. Months later, it was still an issue for him. Like every other day meant I got a bag of stinky clothes from daycare. He only had problems going at daycare. I honestly thought he might walk across the stage at high school graduation and then ask me to change his diaper because he had an accident. I had gotten to the point of throwing out his "big boy" underwear when he had an accident in hopes that would help.

All of a sudden over the past few weeks, he's not having accidents (at least they are few and far between now). I know they say that kids have to take to potty training in their own time and to some extent I see the truth in that. I just couldn't let him be stuck in a class room that wasn't going to stimulate his mind enough.

We're still wearing pull ups at night, but here's to be one step closer to being a diaper free house!

Too Much Energy!

2011-07-21T18:07:00.001-05:00

Ever since Cael turned three, he has an abudance of energy. The days have been too hot to play much outside. This is how Cael deals with his excessive energy.

She tries so hard

2011-07-20T19:45:00.000-05:00

Taryn has developed a new habit. Apparently she has learned that a lot of the things she asks for, like the latest toy she has seen on TV, isn't something she's going to get. Taryn has a new method of asking for things.

"Mommy, did you know that I like donuts?"

"I did know that."

"I really like donuts. They're my favorite."

About this time is when she looks up at me with those big brown eyes and a look of pleading.

"Sorry sweetie. We're having oatmeal for breakfast."

"I wish we could have donuts for breakfast." Usually the last sentence is said with a big sigh. She is still a drama queen. I can hardly wait for her teen years.

Her new method of asking still doesn't get her what she wants, but it's more entertaining for me. I try so hard not to laugh at her.

We're Having a Heat Wave

2011-07-19T04:41:00.000-05:00

Thanks in large part to temperatures in the 90s yesterday with high humidity levels pushing the heat index somewhere between 105 and 115, the town lost power. Apparently the transformer had some issues with the high heat.

Instead of melting into a puddle in our house, we decided to head for grandma and papa's house. The kids were ecstatic to spend time with grandma and papa. I didn't even care that I was sharing the hide-a-bed with Shiloh while Shawn slept on the couch.

While we're currently melting into shoes a few moments after stepping outside, I decided to focus on some nice snowy days. It's all about positive thinking right?

A day at the Zoo

2011-07-17T20:20:00.000-05:00

Actually the title should be a morning at the zoo. With an excessive heat warning, we decided to hit the zoo early this morning. We had to cross the Mississippi River on the way to the zoo and I think Cael was more impressed with that than with the zoo. He kept asking to see the big bridge again.

You have to start out trips to the zoo with a train ride.

I think Taryn was less than impressed with my explanation about why elephants throw dirt on themselves. She quickly forgot when we got to feed the swans and the fish.

At first Cael told us he didn't want to be a monkey man and it took some convincing to get his picture.

Feeding the animal is always fun. Taryn said the goats were her favorite part of the zoo. Glad to know I could just take her to a farm to make her happy.

Now I can't remember which bird the kids were equal to, but it was fun to see them stretch.

Cael could not have been more excited about the lions. That was all he wanted to see all day. Luckily, they decided to come out of their cage so we could see them. Cael roared at them the whole time we looked.

The kids wanted to have their pictures taken at every statue we saw in the zoo. I think Cael was a little afraid they were actually live because it took some coaxing to get him close to the statues.

We definitely needed some slushies to cool off after the zoo. We were all hot and tired by the end of the morning, but at least we got through before it got really hot. Poor Cael did get stung by a bee, but the stinger came right out. I think that was his first bee sting. He quickly forgot when the lions started roaring. Nothing like a blue raspberry slush to make the day perfect!

Boys Will Be Boys

2011-07-13T04:55:00.000-05:00

Let's Fight!

Cael's favorite game lately is to fight with toy powertools. Usually it's the hand rakes, but sometimes it's the hammers and every once in a while it's the toy power drills.

I might be beginning to regret the toy tool bench now.

Feel the Burn

2011-07-12T04:52:00.000-05:00

Here's a lesson for my kids. Sunscreen every 15 minutes. Perhaps every 10 minutes. Don't end up like mama.

It looks somewhat tan in the picture, but don't be fooled. That's red on white. Apparently I didn't apply the sunscreen too well. At least I was having too good a time to care.

Another Big Conversation

2011-07-11T04:08:00.004-05:00

Bless Taryn's heart, but lately she has been full of big thoughts and a lot of questions. I'm pretty sure she's figured me out because big questions mean a little time from me. I'm guessing that's why these always come after she's been tucked into bed and has gotten up to potty an hour later. Last night's conversation went like this:

"Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to be the best mommy ever."

"I'm sure you will be a very good mommy someday."

"How do I get to be a mommy?"

"First, you have to marry a good man."

"But no one likes me yet."

I reassured her that someday someone would like her and she didn't need to worry about it. Still, those are some deep thoughts from a four year old. I'm not sure my skirting around the issue of how she gets to be a mommy really worked or not.

Why I love him

2011-07-08T04:25:00.000-05:00

I've said several times before that sleep isn't easy around our house. I thought by the time my kids were this age, we'd be sleeping through the night, every night! That has not been the case for several months. I thought things had gotten better the past week until I got this email from Shawn.

"Tired...I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Both kids need to start sleeping through the night."

My only response was "You mean they didn't?"

Shawn was nice enough to let me sleep through both kids getting up because he thought I could use the sleep. Apparently, I needed sleep so much, I didn't even hear them crying.

You might as well just give me my mom of the year award right now.

This is how we do it

2011-07-05T17:52:00.001-05:00

We had a great fourth of July, even though Taryn had a fever for the first part of the weekend. By Monday, she was feeling much better, just in time for the candy parade and fireworks with friends.

Can't have the Fourth of July without baseball. Gotta love that form Taryn!

Next up it was time for the sprinkler! Cael wouldn't get much closer than that.

Then it was time for the slip-n-slide! Cael wasn't a fan of that either.

The parade was a big hit. Cael really liked the tractors.

Nothing like taking a ride with a friend.

You can't have the Fourth of July without a fashion show. I think they were from Florida.

There's nothing better than sitting on the deck while the kids run around and play. Throw in some fireworks and it's a great night.

Sneak Peak

2011-07-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

Since I have a few months before school starts again, I decided to fix up our bedroom. To be honest, I never really did much besides paint the walls when we moved in. Something about getting pregnant six months after moving in this house and several other rooms needed more work than the bedroom.

I finally picked out fabric for a quilt and I had this made. We don't have a headboard, so this piece is going to hang over our bed.

This was made Keri at Creative Genius Art. I'm so excited to get started on this project. I'd better hurry up too since it's almost July 4th.

Worry versus fear

2011-06-30T04:08:00.000-05:00

Every time one of my kids gets sick, my level of worry jumps up just a bit. Luckily these are usually short lived and the worry is more feeling sorry for the child who is not feeling well. Last week, Cael had a fever for four days with no other symptoms. Three other kids at daycare had the same thing. Taryn came down with the same virus yesterday.

Taryn has always spiked higher fevers than most kids. While Cael's temp started out at 102 degrees, it was kept around 100 degrees thanks to ibuprofen. Taryn's fever decided to kick it up a notch. I got a phone call at 3:30 that her fever was 102. By the time I got her home and took her temperature at 4:15 it was 103.3 degrees. She said her throat hurt and I called the doctor and Shawn to come home. An hour later, Taryn's fever had jumped up to 105.5. This is where my worry becomes fear.

We flew to the doctor's office and debated heading to the ER instead. Knowing that in the past when Taryn's fevers are this high the ER doesn't do anything, we opted for the doctor. Luckily by the time we got her to the doctor her fever had come down some.

I know that fevers that high are not as significant in children as they are in adults. I know that some kids just tend to have higher fevers than others. I hear the same speech every time Taryn hits a high temp. I know that the doctor will tell me I don't need to bring her in when her fever is that high. I didn't mention it to the doctor, but I will always have her seen when her fever is that high. She may be fine, but I need some reassurance from someone else that she is ok.

You've got to be carefully taught

2011-06-29T04:07:00.000-05:00

We're almost done with the kids swimming lesson session. We've encountered a situation at lessons that I find very frustrating. The first day of lessons, Shawn took Cael into the men's room while I took Taryn with me. There was one man in the men's locker room with his daughter. The daughter is probably five or six by my guess. Apparently the fact that this man took his daughter into the men's room to change after lessons was a bit of an issue for another man who spoke up to the first man about the inappropriateness of this.

Shawn hadn't attended lessons the past few weeks due to being gone for work and then Cael was sick so I took Taryn and Shawn stayed home with Cael. I have no idea if this has been an ongoing issue, but last night (according to Shawn) the guy who was offended by this child in the locker room decided to make his opinion heard yet again. He said "You're from another country aren't you? Here in America, it is a good decision to change your daughter in a covered area." I should probably mention that this man and his daughter are Indian.

Even if I ignore the fact that American Man's son is getting dressed in the middle of the woman's locker room while this scene was happening in the men's room, I can't over look the prejudice. Maybe it's just because women's locker rooms are overrun with children of both sexes, but I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like the father is pointing out other men to his daughter. He's there with his daughter and I have never seen a woman with them so there is no way some one else can help her get dressed. I would be reluctant to send Cael into the men's room by himself at that age and would certainly understand if this man felt the same. Perhaps American Man could have used one of the private changing stalls or waited the five minutes it took this man to change his daughter if it made him that uncomfortable. Throwing out the "here in America..." statement just frustrates me.

I guess to my mind there were plenty of ways to have this discussion that didn't involve pointing out differences. In the grand scheme of things, this man is trying to help his daughter learn to swim and in doing so, he and his daughter have to use the same locker room as American Man. There were so many other ways to resolve this conflict than where American man took it.

It is so frustrating to try to teach Taryn and Cael to be accepting of other people and then have to explain why other people aren't so accepting. Somehow saying that some people aren't always nice doesn't seem enough of an explanation, but it's the best one I have at this stage.

Sleep....oh sleep

2011-06-28T04:46:00.000-05:00

Sleep has become a high priced commodity around our house. LuckilyTaryn seems to have come off her night terror issues of screaming. Recently, she has started coming into our room when she has a nightmare. While I can't say that being shaken awake to find her face two inches from mine is good for my heart rate, it is vastly preferable to being awoken by screams.

Cael has been sick with pink eye and had a fever over the weekend. He has started in on the screaming at night now that his sister seems to be done with it. I feel so bad for my boy. He's awake and uncomfortable and that's about all I can figure out. He'll try to go potty, but usually just stands there crying until one of us gently guides him back to bed. Even if he doesn't go potty, we still need to comfort him and help him try to get back to sleep.

I'm hoping that Cael's new bedtime pattern is one that doesn't last for very long. I'm really glad that Taryn has moved to a new style of waking from nightmares, but for just a few nights couldn't we all get some sleep? Lord, mama needs some sleep.

Awkward questions and possibly too much information

2011-06-24T04:22:00.001-05:00

Taryn is an inquisitive child, which I encourage. How else can you learn? I've been waiting for the whole where do babies come from question. While driving home the other day, Taryn asked "How do babies get out of the mommy's tummy?"

I was prepared for the how babies are made question, it never entered my mind that we would skip right over that to how do they get out of a woman's body. She threw me for a loop. She's like the teacher that suddenly changes the semester test from what she said it would be to something we hadn't studied much. I had the horrifying feeling I wasn't as prepared for this part as I should have been.

After a my stumbling explanation of how that happens without too much detail (because lots of details seems like a good way to scar a child), Taryn had only one question "Why don't babies come out the mommy's mouth instead?"

I'm getting the feeling more explanation is required. I threw something about the diaphragm and how that wouldn't work. She seemed to buy it while I was mentally horrified by the image in my head of a baby being born out of a mouth.

When I was telling Shawn about it later, his only comment was "Why didn't you just say she goes to the hospital and the doctor takes the baby out?"

Only a man could pass right over all it takes for a baby to be born and go with the simple answer. I really wish I had given the simple answer but hey, my mind apparently doesn't work that.

N-A-K-E-D!

2011-06-23T04:43:00.003-05:00

The other day, Shawn told Cael and Taryn to pick up their rooms, specifically to make sure that all their dirty clothes were in their hampers and not dropped on the floor wherever they had been standing at the time.

Cael was gone for a few minutes and came back out naked. When Shawn asked him what he was doing, Cael replied that he was all done.

Shawn told Cael to put his clothes back on and then clean up his room because he hadn't touched the clothes on the floor. I'm sure Cael gave Shawn a look that said "Dude, you just told me to get undressed and now you want me to get dressed again?!"

You have to love trying to explain things to young children.

Taryn's Daddy

2011-06-19T17:01:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of the card Taryn made Shawn for Father's Day. I love her answers to the questions. Happy Father's Day!

Adventureland!

2011-06-17T21:43:00.000-05:00

I've had a few heavy posts this week so here's something lighthearted for the weekend while I'm off enjoying my best friends birthday festivities in Minnesota. As Taryn said on the way there "Every ride has it's own adventure!"

Wishes

2011-06-16T21:43:00.000-05:00

One of the things that I never get used to as a parent is seeing parts of myself that I hope my children didn't inherit. I got my acceptance letter into the Nursing program for the fall semester. Apparently, you have to accept your position twice for it to count. This letter also contained orientation information and classes to register for. While registering for classes, I got that little voice in my head saying "What if I can't do this? What if I fail?" I hate that voice of doubt.

The thing is, I know that I can do this, and do it well. I may not have Shawn's confidence in everything, but I certainly share his stubbornness. There is no way I will let myself fail at this. Not when I'm so close to attaining one of the things I really want.

I hope that the little voice of doubt doesn't exist in my children. But if it does, I hope they know they also have the ability to do great things as long as they are willing to try.

I feel a rant coming on

2011-06-15T05:40:00.001-05:00

I had an enlightening experience the other day at daycare. Since Cael has recently started temper tantrums, he's been visiting time out a lot more. At daycare, a little girl handed Cael his shoes, but Mr. Independent wanted to pick them up himself and threw them on the floor. This is a big no-no in my world for several reasons. First of all, you don't treat people, especially girls, like that. Second, you don't treat people like that when they are trying to help you. Third, you do not act like in front of me because I'm not raising that type of child. When I asked Cael if he needed a time out he said no and fixed his behavior. I was then informed that the daycare is not allowed to say the words "time out" to children anymore because the Department of Human Services finds it damaging to their self esteem.

Come again?

I have to wonder if we spent less time worrying about everything affects children's self esteem and more time teaching them how to behave properly if there would be as many children with behavior issues in school, let alone later in life. For me this ranks up there with letting everyone win when they play. It seems like we're setting children up to fail. It seems far more cruel to give children one set of rules and then push them into a world where the rules are completely opposite of everything they've learned thus far in life. There are consequences for actions in life and people need to be accountable for the things they do, children included. There are no free rides here and children need to learn how to act in ways that help them do well in this world. Learning from our mistakes is one of the best ways to build character. I think we learn far more by succeeding where we have previously failed than being allowed to think we're right every single time, or worse that it doesn't matter either way. We gain self esteem by doing good work and learning from our mistakes.

Every one has their "hot button" issues and I guess this is one of mine. It just seems counterproductive to me to allow children to learn they can do whatever they want whenever they want and then expect them to conform to the rules of society later in life. I'm much happier giving time outs when needed and explaining/discussing with my children what they did that landed them there in the first place.

Forgetful Annivesary

2011-06-14T05:57:00.002-05:00

The funny thing about having a baby two days before our anniversary is that we have started forgetting to tell each other happy anniversary on the actual day. We spent the days after Cael's birth anxiously watching the news as major flooding was happening. There was also a large tornado that caused the death of several Boy Scouts camping. Add in the birth of our son and anniversaries seemed less important somehow. Apparently, I've suffered this same afflication every year for the past three years. We usually remember at some point during the day, most likely because a family member remembered to tell us happy anniversary. We usually look at each with the same oops look and then offer our congratulations. We rarely celebrate our anniversary on the exact day, but we do get the celebration in somewhere.

Shawn and I met ten years ago. We dated for a year and then were engaged for two more before tying the knot. Ten years is a long time and I wouldn't have spent the last ten years with anyone else. So here's a very happy anniversary wish for my husband. I couldn't do it without you!